Advent (Fourth Tuesday)

Dec 23, 2014

Advent has nearly reached its fulfillment, yet I am finding the peace it promises just a little harder to grasp as Christmas approaches.

How easily I can be undone by one two-year-old with a permanent marker and an extra-long grocery list.

My friend Ashley has given me a gift this morning. It took me longer than anticipated to post it for you because I can’t stop re-reading it. I want to feel the truth of it that desperately. I want to forget the fourteen things still on my to-do list. I want to be overwhelmed in the way she describes.

By his light.

snowflake lights

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We drive I-5 through Oregon’s mid-section, far from major cities, and the sky is pitch, punctuated occasionally by lines of Christmas lights and the glow of solitary windows.

For hours, days, anxiety has coursed through my body, and now in the silence of our car, I feel I may succumb to overwhelm – so many details and inadequacies pressing down on my shoulders, shouting through the quiet. But the light finds me in the calls of the dark, and then my eyes are downright searching for the light – this steadying hand, this hope slicing through.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

Out the window I see a curtain of pitch night, and then a parting to reveal the light. Light, light, light. Night.

As we follow the winding freeway, I wonder at those who traveled hundreds of miles on foot and animal back, following the light, not a road, to their destination. Keeping course by the new star on a journey itself until it came to the One worthy of all praise.

I consider the wise men’s trek to Perfect Love held within a little boy’s body, their joy at finally beholding Jesus’s light. I imagine their overwhelm bursting forth in worship, gratitude and praise, the offering of awe, gifts from hands and mouths.

Overwhelm usually speaks to burial and drowning, utter defeat. And I know this when limitations glare and glower, and I feel I might go under. But as I watch through my window at how Light overtakes the dark, I know I truly cannot be consumed by my own mind or this world.

Just look at how light pierces through. And I am guided to the place where He is, and I am overwhelmed.

snow on a park bench 2

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Ashley Larkin is a story collector, wife to Michael and mother to three shining daughters (ages 12, 9 and 6). She longs to be a place of welcome and seeks hard after the hope and grace found in broken things. A writer, Ashley recently has embraced God’s call to speak to groups of women, as well. She delights in sharing face to beautiful face about our completeness and utter beloved-ness in Christ. Ashley and her family live in a 110-year-old house in Portland, Oregon with a grove of horse chestnut trees that clearly has taken over. You can find her blogging about living fully awake to the messy glory of everyday moments here and on Twitter here.

ashley larkin head shot

 

5 Comments

  1. Ali

    So glad I found this little gem of truth and hope. Beautiful.

    Reply
  2. Amber @ Beautiful Rubbish

    It’s unbelievably good to “hear” your voice again, friend. To hear, too, this light piercing your dark, fills my heart with a sigh of thanks for you. I love you so… may you continue to know this piercing of his hope through the heart of your anxiety and whatever each day brings. Merry Christmas, love.

    Reply
  3. Shelly Miller

    A beautiful meditation Ashley. May we all cast our cares on Him in the midst of the overwhelm that frequently comes with the season, because He cares for us so deeply. Merry Christmas to you and Christie, you are both in the forefront of my heart this morning as we make preparation for the arrival of hope that does not disappoint. xoxo

    Reply
  4. Kim

    Dear Ashley, I have been eagerly looking forward to hearing your words again…Today they echo some of what my silence has been shouting these past days…all those feelings of overwhelm, yes, but not the kind that the wise men expressed. While the world tugs at us as moms to do more than we do, to be more than we are, to make everything just right for our loved ones and others we know whose life is a struggle, (while we struggle with our own inadequacies & limitations), we tend to carry weights that our not ours to bear and we start to sink. The should do’s and should have dones, the feelings of failure & not good enough’s..are not gifts that belong under our tree, nor in our hearts. Thank you for reminding me that the Light shines in our darkness and the darkness has NOT overcome it. I choose afresh today, the other overwhelm of worship & adoration!
    I want to take this time to thank you for making my life rich with your words that drop regularly into my email. I always look forward to them. It is beautiful to see what God is doing in & through you. May your Christmas time be wonder-full and beauty-filled, and blessed richly with the things that matter most in this life.Hugs. Kim

    Reply
  5. lisha epperson

    Your words read like a song today Ashley. A song I need to hear, a melody I won’t soon forget. Loved your piece at Faith&Culture as well. Merry Christmas!

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. For When You’re Overwhelmed…On Wise Men and Following the Light (A Guest Post at Christie Purifoy’s) | Draw Near - [...] I met Christie Purifoy through our common friend, Shelly Miller, when we were a part of a team of…
  2. For When You’re Overwhelmed…On Wise Men and Following the Light (A Guest Post for Christie Purifoy) | Draw Near - [...] I met Christie Purifoy through our common friend, Shelly Miller, when we were a part of a team of writers (led by…
  3. Bloggerhood Etc. 12/29/14 | Fatherhood Etc. - [...] “By His Light” by Ashley Larkin, guest posting at Christine Purifoy’s blog, There is a [...]

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