And Then We Were Six
She was born on September 12 at 4:46 in the morning – two weeks before we expected her but not a moment too soon. Here are the things I will never forget: In a new home with no family or friends nearby, we were not alone. Not unprovided for. At eleven p.m. I admitted I might be in labor. The kids were all asleep (the three-year-old only...
Tunnel Vision
Most evenings, after dinner, you'll find us piling into the car. We drive because it's so beautiful here, we drive to put the three-year-old to sleep, we drive because we're worn out and we want to fill the time between feeding and bathing in the easiest way. I've never been very adept at keeping my mind tucked inside my body. It's always...
A Season for Dying (A Season for Gratitude)
Just the other night, I sat on the front porch and wished I had a sweater. The calendar may still say August, but, around here, summer is definitely tipping over into fall. Our weekly delivery from the local CSA orchard is shifting more and more from peaches to apples. My daughter says, “I smell fall!” I tell her, “I can hear it,” curled,...
On Small Beginnings
A big house with open doors. Four seasons of God’s glory. Community. Hospitality. Roots planted deep. This dream is big, and we’ve dreamed it for so long. Maybe that’s why I imagined fireworks. Cymbals crashing. An arrival announced with lightning bolts. But even big dreams are realized in little ways. A morning. An evening. Another...
On Saying Goodbye (on Saying Thank You)
When you leave the desert do you kick the dust from your feet? Forget what's behind and look only toward the future? I'd be tempted to say yes except for the view framed by my metaphorical rearview mirror. It's beautiful. For two years I felt myself to be living in a kind of prison. Not a harsh bread and water only kind-of-prison. More like...
Our Best Dreams
We’ve signed papers, and, if all goes as planned, we’ll soon move into an old farmhouse in the Pennsylvania countryside. For two years dreams have been our only food, and those dreams are being realized. Dream is a word I’ve always had trouble with. When I was a child I learned words like sinner, salvation, and cross, but those good...